Experiencing a break up or broken heart
Break-ups can leave you feeling heartbroken, disoriented, and emotionally exhausted. Whether your relationship was short or spanned many years, the end can feel like a profound loss. Relationships often begin with excitement, a shared vision of the future, and deep emotional connection. However, over time, complexities may arise, leading to feelings of disconnect. It’s natural to hope for lasting happiness, but many relationships reach a point where parting ways seems like the only option.
Statistics show that after two years of living together, couples are equally likely to break up as they are to get married. It’s important to understand that break-ups, while painful, are part of many people’s experiences. Knowing that others have gone through similar struggles can offer a small sense of comfort as you work through your own feelings.
What Is a Break-Up?
A break-up is the decision to end a romantic relationship, often due to unresolved differences, emotional disconnection, or changing feelings over time. You may have heard of the “seven-year itch,” a common belief that many relationships struggle around this milestone. However, break-ups can happen at any stage, sometimes unexpectedly. Deciding to separate is rarely straightforward; it involves deep, often conflicting emotions, and difficult conversations. Yet, despite the pain, it is a step that allows both individuals to grow and eventually find clarity and peace in moving forward.
The Emotional Impact
When a relationship ends, it can feel as though your world has been turned upside down. Daily routines are disrupted, and the future you once imagined together suddenly feels out of reach. It’s common to experience intense feelings of sadness, fear, and loneliness. The uncertainty about what comes next can amplify these emotions. Break-ups can also trigger feelings of rejection, self-doubt, and even a loss of identity—particularly if you’ve been in the relationship for a long time.
Grief over the end of a relationship can take many forms. Some days may feel more manageable, while others are overwhelming. It’s important to remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s also essential to seek out support from friends, family, or professionals during this challenging time.
16% of marriages reach the 60th wedding anniversary without separation or death
There were 80,057 divorces in England and Wales in 2022, the lowest number since 1971
The painfulness of a breakup peaks between ages 26 to 33
The average (median) length of a marriage beginning today is 40 years before ending in either divorce or death
Why do people struggle to get over a break up?
Moving on from a break-up can be more difficult than expected, and there’s no clear timeline for when the healing will begin. One reason people struggle is the lingering hope that things might work out again, even when deep down they know it’s over. This can keep you emotionally tied to the past, preventing closure and making it hard to look forward.
Break-ups are particularly painful when they involve a long-term partner or your first love. The grief is often not just for the person but also for the future you had imagined together. Dreams of marriage, family, and shared milestones can make the loss feel more profound. Social media adds another layer of difficulty, as reminders of your ex can pop up unexpectedly, prolonging the pain and preventing you from moving forward.
Every break-up is unique, and your recovery will depend on many factors, such as who initiated the break-up, the level of contact you still have with your ex, and how much of your identity was tied to the relationship. Be patient with yourself during this time and recognise that healing is not linear.
How does a broken heart or break up impact people?
The emotional stress of a break-up doesn’t just affect your mind—it can take a toll on your body as well. The strain can manifest in physical symptoms such as changes in appetite, disrupted sleep, and feelings of fatigue. Some people experience a loss of energy, headaches, or a weakened immune system, making them more susceptible to illness during this time.
Your body responds to emotional pain in much the same way it does to physical stress. The “fight or flight” response may kick in, increasing your heart rate and blood pressure leaving you feeling tense and on edge. This stress can also lead to hormonal imbalances, affecting your mood and overall well-being. It’s not uncommon to experience physical symptoms such as trembling, feeling disconnected from your surroundings, or even shortness of breath during moments of intense emotional pain.
In more severe cases, break-ups can contribute to conditions like “broken heart syndrome,” where intense emotional stress causes temporary dysfunction in the heart. While these symptoms are real and distressing, they will often improve as your emotional state begins to heal
How can they be overcome?
Healing from a break-up takes time, but there are practical steps you can take to support your recovery. Begin by creating some space between yourself and your ex. This might mean removing physical reminders, such as gifts or photos, and setting boundaries on social media to avoid constant reminders. This distance helps create a clearer emotional space for you to process your feelings.
Shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what the relationship taught you. Write down the reasons why the relationship ended and the lessons you’ve learned from it. This can help you reframe the situation and view it as a stepping stone in your personal growth rather than just a loss.
Taking care of your body is also crucial during this time. Regular exercise, even if it’s just a short walk, balanced meals, and proper sleep, can help you manage stress and begin to feel more like yourself again. It’s important to be gentle with yourself—indulge in little comforts like a warm bath or a favourite meal, but try to avoid major life changes while your emotions are still raw.
Staying connected with loved ones is key. It’s natural to want to withdraw after a break-up, but maintaining relationships with supportive friends and family can ease your emotional burden. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and remind you of your worth.
Lastly, embrace this time as an opportunity to rediscover who you are outside of the relationship. Try new activities, revisit old hobbies, or even plan a solo trip. Reclaiming your independence can be a powerful reminder of your strength and resilience
How can hypnotherapy help?
Solution-focused hypnotherapy offers a unique approach to healing after a breakup. By working with your subconscious mind, hypnotherapy helps you address the deeper emotional barriers that might be keeping you stuck. During a session, you’ll enter a deeply relaxed state where you can begin to release past hurt and start focusing on a more positive future.
Using techniques such as visualisation and positive suggestions, hypnotherapy can help you break free from negative thought patterns and emotional pain. Reinforcing new, healthier ways of thinking encourages a more hopeful and optimistic outlook on life. Over time, hypnotherapy can help you move beyond the break-up, allowing you to regain clarity and peace.
Many people notice significant improvements after just a few sessions, but the number of sessions will depend on your individual circumstances. Whether used alone or alongside other therapies, hypnotherapy can be a gentle yet powerful tool in helping you find emotional healing.
Our Break Ups and Broken Hearts Specialists
Benn Baker-Pollard
Sittingbourne
Carmen Harrington
Market Harborough
Caroline Prout
Thrapston
Chris Johannes
Spalding
Claire Noyelle
Maidstone East
Dawn Ibbetson
Chelmsford
Gary Johannes
Peterborough
Jill Whitehouse
Newcastle upon Tyne
Keeley Smith
Southend-on-Sea
Kerry Seymour
Weston-super-Mare
Peter Ely
Islington
Why Choose Inspired To Change
Our solution focused hypnotherapists empower you to better understand your brain, helping to guide you towards solutions and achieve the outcomes you want. We have a team of fully trained hypnotherapists, giving you the choice of who to work with and how you want to work with them. Solution focused hypnotherapy is just as effective in-person or online in the comfort of your own home, so you can find the ideal therapist to help you reach your goals.
Every one of our hypnotherapists is recognised by governing bodies like the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the UK’s leading not-for-profit hypnotherapy professional association. They have all trained with Clifton Practice Hypnotherapy Training, one of the leading hypnotherapy schools in the UK.
