Experiencing a break up or heartbreak
Break-ups can leave you feeling heartbroken, distressed and emotionally exhausted. Whether your relationship was short or spanned many years, the end can feel like a profound loss or bereavement. Your world has been turned upside down, with daily routines disrupted and the future you imagined suddenly gone.
Relationships often begin with excitement, a shared vision of the future and deep emotional connection. It’s natural to wish for lasting happiness. However, many relationships reach a point where breaking up feels like the only choice. Deciding to separate is rarely straightforward; it involves deep, often conflicting emotions, and difficult conversations.
Break-ups can happen at any stage, sometimes unexpectedly. They are often because of unresolved differences, emotional disconnection or changing feelings over time. Yet, ultimately, it allows both people to grow in the best way for each of them, and eventually move forward.
Statistics show that after two years of living together, couples are equally likely to break up as they are to get married. It’s important to understand that the pain of break-ups is part of many people’s experiences. Knowing that others have gone through similar struggles can offer a small sense of comfort as you work through your own feelings.
Grieving the end of a relationship is normal and some days may feel more manageable, while others are overwhelming. Healing takes time, and it’s essential to seek out support from friends, family or professionals during this challenging time.
16% of marriages reach the 60th wedding anniversary
There were 80,057 divorces in England and Wales in 2022, the lowest number since 1971
The painfulness of a breakup peaks between ages 26 to 33
The average length of a marriage beginning today is 40 years
Why do people struggle to get over a break up?
Moving on from a break-up can be more difficult than expected, and there’s no clear timeline for when the healing will begin. One reason people struggle is the lingering hope that things might work out again, even when deep down they know it’s over. This can keep you emotionally tied to the past, preventing closure and making it hard to look forward.
Break-ups are particularly painful when they involve a long-term partner or your first love. The grief is often not just for the person but also for the future you had imagined together. Dreams of marriage, family and shared milestones can make the loss feel greater.
Social media can make things more difficult. Reminders of your ex can pop up, prolonging the pain and stopping you from moving forward.
Every break-up is unique and your recovery will depend on many factors, such as who initiated the break-up, the level of contact you still have with your ex, and how much of your identity was tied to the relationship. Be patient with yourself during this time and recognise that healing has no set timeline.
How does a broken heart or break up impact people?
Many people experience intense feelings of sadness, fear, and loneliness. The uncertainty about what comes next can amplify these emotions. Break-ups can also trigger feelings of rejection, self-doubt and even a loss of identity. These are particularly common if you’ve been in the relationship for a long time.
Experiencing rejection during a break up can make you more guarded in future relationships. Grieving the end of a relationship can bring on symptoms similar to depression, including fatigue and a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.
The emotional stress of a break-up can take a toll on your body as well as your mind. The emotional pain can change your appetite and disrupt sleep. Some people experience a loss of energy, headaches or a weakened immune system. This can make them more likely to pick up an illness during this time.
Your body responds to emotional pain in much the same way it does to physical stress. The “fight or flight” response may kick in, increasing your heart rate and blood pressure. This can leave you tense and on edge.
This stress can also affect your mood and overall wellbeing. Trembling, feeling disconnected from your surroundings, or even shortness of breath can affect people in moments of intense emotional pain.
In more severe cases, break-ups can contribute to conditions like ‘broken heart syndrome’. This is where intense emotional stress causes temporary dysfunction in the heart. While these symptoms are real and distressing, they will often improve as your emotional state begins to heal.
How can you become ready to move on?
Healing from a break up takes time, but there are practical steps you can take to support your recovery.
Create some space
This might mean removing physical reminders, such as gifts or photos. Set boundaries on social media to avoid constant reminders. This distance helps create a clearer emotional space for you to process your feelings.
Identify your growth
Shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what the relationship taught you. Write down the reasons why the relationship ended and the lessons you’ve learned from it. This can help you reframe the situation and view it as a stepping stone in your personal growth rather than just a loss.
Look after your physical health
Regular exercise, even if it’s just a short walk, balanced meals and proper sleep can help you manage stress. Be gentle with yourself, so indulge in little comforts like a warm bath with a podcast or a favourite meal. Try to avoid major life changes while your emotions are still raw.
Stay connected with loved ones
Surround yourself with people who lift you up and remind you of your worth. It’s natural to want to withdraw after a break up. However, relationships with supportive friends and family can ease your emotional burden.
Remember who you are
Lastly, take time to rediscover who you are outside the relationship. Try new activities, revisit old hobbies or even plan a solo trip. Reclaiming your independence can be a powerful reminder of your strength and resilience. When you’re ready move on and start a new relationship, you’ll be confident about what you can bring to it.
How can hypnotherapy help heartbreaks?
Solution focused hypnotherapy for heartbreak offers unique support with healing after a breakup. Hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind to help you address deeper emotional barriers that might be keeping you stuck.
Therapy offers a safe space to explore and process intense feelings of pain, distress and despair. During a hypnotherapy session, you’ll enter a deeply relaxed state. We use techniques like visualisation to help you detach from past partners and envision a positive future without them.
Using techniques such as visualisation and positive suggestions, hypnotherapy can help you break free from negative thought patterns and emotional pain. We help you develop new, healthier ways of thinking encourages a more hopeful and optimistic outlook on life. Over time, hypnotherapy for heartbreak can help you move beyond the break-up, allowing you to regain clarity and peace.
Many people notice significant improvements after just a few sessions. However, the number of sessions needed will depend on your circumstances. Breakup hypnotherapy can be a gentle yet powerful tool, supporting you to find emotional healing.
Our Break Ups and Heartbreak Specialists
Benn Baker-Pollard
Sittingbourne
Caroline Prout
Thrapston
Claire Noyelle
Maidstone
Dawn Ibbetson
Chelmsford
Emma Bancroft
Rainham, Kent
Emma Treby
Mid Devon
Gary Johannes
Peterborough
Jill Whitehouse
Newcastle upon Tyne
Keeley Smith
Southend-on-Sea
Kerry Seymour
Weston-super-Mare
Marina Love
Aylesbury Vale
Peter Ely
Islington
Why Choose Inspired To Change
Our solution focused hypnotherapists empower you to better understand your brain, helping to guide you towards solutions and achieve the outcomes you want. We have a team of fully trained hypnotherapists, giving you the choice of who to work with and how you want to work with them. Solution focused hypnotherapy is just as effective in-person or online in the comfort of your own home, so you can find the ideal therapist to help you reach your goals.
Every one of our hypnotherapists is recognised by governing bodies like the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the UK’s leading not-for-profit hypnotherapy professional association. They have all trained with Clifton Practice Hypnotherapy Training, one of the leading hypnotherapy schools in the UK.
