Here at Inspired To Change, we are huge advocates for one another, constantly encouraging and empowering each other to be the best versions of ourselves, both for our clients and in our own lives.
This is what inspired me to write this blog. It is from this foundation of mutual support that I want to write about a struggle so many of us face: the myth of “doing it all.
Do you ever feel like you’re being stretched so thin you’re almost becoming transparent?
In a world of filtered perfection, we’ve been sold a lie: that “doing it all” is what it takes to be “good enough.” But if you have children, you already know the truth. The to-do list never ends. The washing pile feels alive. And the crumbs somehow reappear the second you’ve put the hoover away.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mum questioning your identity, or a working mum carrying the weight of “mum guilt,” the feeling is often the same: that constant sense of not doing enough.
The Strength in Your Choices
Sometimes the loudest judgement doesn’t come from others, but from that quiet inner voice asking if we’re getting it “right”.
This impossible standard sets us up to fail. The Instagram mum we compare ourselves to doesn’t actually exist in real life. And when we try to measure ourselves against something so filtered and unrealistic, we inevitably end up feeling drained and not enough.
As Agapi Stassinopoulos once said:
“Your best is what you can achieve without physical and mental burnout.”
If your best is leaving you exhausted, overwhelmed, and depleted, then it isn’t really your best at all.
At Inspired to Change, we believe there is no single right way to be a mum. Whether you’re building a career or building a home, your choices are valid. And I truly believe that when a mother is able to pursue what fulfils her, she isn’t taking away from her children – she’s showing them what it looks like to live a full and meaningful life.
Rewriting the Rules
I remember being a new mum and quietly looking for a roadmap – something to tell me how to get it “right.”
A friend of mine at the time was a high-end banker and also a mum to boys like me. To me, she looked like the definition of a powerhouse. She was brilliant at work, but she also finished the day and went straight into life – walking her dog, taking her youngest to football, just doing it all in her own way.
Watching her made me realise something important: you don’t have to choose between ambition and motherhood.
But I also realised something else over time. The best version of you doesn’t come from doing what you think you should be doing – it comes from getting clearer on what you actually want to be doing.
If you’ve been living with a quiet hum of resentment or fear of judgement, I want you to know this:
You can build a life you actually want, and still be successful in all the areas that matter to you.
So Why Does Everything Feel Like an Emergency?
Have you ever noticed how you can be chopping vegetables or tidying the house with this strange sense of urgency… like everything depends on it?
It’s because when we are overwhelmed, our brain loses the ability to distinguish between a genuine threat, like a polar bear chasing us, and a pile of washing.
When we get stuck in this “emergency mode,” the brain tells us we have to keep going at full speed or something will go wrong.
But when we slow down, intentionally, even briefly – we send a different message: I am safe.
And when the brain feels safe, it can step out of survival mode and start focusing on what really matters again.
Reclaiming Your Headspace
Your children won’t remember the unfolded laundry or the messy kitchen. They will remember your presence, your smile, the inside jokes, and the feeling of having a mum who was actually there with them.
You are not just a mother. You are a woman with purpose, identity, and something in you that your children benefit from seeing fully expressed.
If you’re struggling with maternal burnout or that constant feeling of “not enough,” you don’t have to just push through it.
At Inspired to Change, we can support you to quiet that inner critic, reduce that stress load, and reclaim the mental space you need to enjoy your life again.
Our team of therapists are here to support you. Together, we can help you step out of that cycle of “not enough” and start building something that feels calmer, more balanced, and more you.
About the Author
Desiree Mackenzie is a qualified Solution Focused Hypnotherapist based in Bromley. With almost two decades of experience in healthcare, Desiree has a deep-rooted passion for patient care and mental health.
Having navigated the invisible mental load of a demanding career while being the primary anchor for her family, Desiree understands firsthand the hamster wheel of the modern working woman.
Through her clinical practice, she supports her clients to regain their ‘Mum Spark’ and helps them feel empowered to curate the life they want to live.
